Well, I know that I'm not suppose to worry for the Lord tells us not to and we are to cast all of our anxiety on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).
I'm having some issues with that. Not with the verse. But with the fact that I can say that I can cast it all on Him, but then the actual act of doing so is tremendously difficult!
As of late, Cohort K has been receiving our placements for next semester. Most girls already know where they will be and it's somewhat stressful not knowing yet. I have had experience with PK-1st grade, and now I'm looking to be with the older students so that I can test the waters and see what age group the Lord wants me to be with in the future. I requested 3rd grade. I understand that it is a TAKS grade. I just want experience, to stick my feet in the water. I don't know how it will turn out. Heck, this could show me that I am meant to be with the babies...kindergarten. I don't know.
Not many 3rd grade teachers want a student teacher because it IS a TAKS grade. However, I did find one...and she's pregnant. She's due in mid-March. She wants a student teacher and I want to be in her classroom. If we get approval, then I could possibly stay with the class by myself and get paid for it! Which doesn't sound like a bad idea. If that were to happen, I could also be considered being a long-term substitute by the district if she chooses not to come back after she has her baby.
I daily check my emails to see if I have received more information about being approved or not.
Looking this over, I sound like a fool. Maybe this is something that I want so badly that I'm shoving aside what the Lord has for me. Is He trying to tell me something? Am I just that stubborn that I don't want to truly hear from God? I want to cast this on Him, but I also selfishly want to know where I will be next semester and who I'll be with so that I can meet the students and indicate to the teacher that I'm serious about this. I know that He is in control of all things. I know that He is Lord of my life. I know that He has a plan and will for me. Now, if I could only find a peace in that and rely on the truth that He has lavished upon me.
I trust in Him.
I know that He is sovereign.
I don't want to worry or stress about where I'll be next semester, for I know that He is in control.
This just in: I WILL be in a 3rd grade classroom this coming semester! The Lord took care of everything and I'm so grateful for Sheri Crossett! Man...now, I need to get my booty in gear for older kids lessons and centers and the like! =)
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